Kandar Anubhūti – Mantra Prayoga – 06
For Harmony and Mutual Affection between Husband and Wife
In the previous hymn, Arunagirināthar emphasized the need to overcome lust and to avoid mistaking the lawful wife—who lives by dharma—as Māyā itself. Many sādhakas fall into confusion, regarding their own dharmic spouse also as a source of delusion. To clear this misunderstanding, Arunagirināthar beautifully explains in this hymn how true harmony between husband and wife is essential for spiritual progress.
The Siddha Guru who instructed Tiyāgarāja Mudaliyār named the prayoga for this hymn:
“Mātarait Tazhuva” – “To embrace the wife” (meaning: to create harmony and intimacy between dharmically married husband and wife).
This prayoga is specifically prescribed for couples who, due to planetary afflictions, mental discord, or karmic obstacles, are unable to live together harmoniously. By meditating on the meaning of this hymn and practicing the mantra–yantra prayoga, husband and wife can regain mutual affection (anyōnya-bhāva) and live joyfully.
Why Discord Arises between Husband and Wife
The root cause is the absence of mutual respect.
- When a husband honors his wife, values her counsel, and ensures her mind remains calm, she manifests as Jñāna-śakti, inspiring and supporting his life’s work.
- When disrespected and belittled through arrogance, the wife turns into Māyā-śakti, unconsciously turning the husband’s life into misery.
This is why many arrogant and ignorant men lose peace, suffer stress, and even ruin their health and vitality.
True joy and wisdom in life depend on the proper functioning of icchā-śakti (will-power). The symbol of this icchā-śakti is Vallī herself.
- When our will-power is simple, devoted, and respected, it strengthens us to achieve goals.
- Vallī, Muruga’s beloved, stands on his right side holding a lotus—the symbol of blossoming icchā-śakti.
The Hymn
Tamil Verse (6th Hymn):
திணியான மனோசிலை மீதுனதாள்
அணியார் அரவிந்தம் அரும்புமதோ
பணியாவென வள்ளிபதம் பணியும்
தணியா அதிமோக தயாபரனே
Word-by-Word Meaning
- திணியான மனோசிலை மீது – upon my mind, hardened like stone,
- உனதாள் அணியார் அரவிந்தம் அரும்புமதோ – when will your lotus-like feet (like Vallī’s lotus) blossom?
- பணியாவென வள்ளி பதம் பணியும் – bowing at Vallī’s feet, asking “what is my true duty?”
- தணியா அதி மோக தயாபரனே – O Lord of endless love and compassion!
Teaching
Arunagirināthar shows Muruga himself as the model:
- Muruga, though a great God and Guru, bows lovingly at his wife Vallī’s feet, asking with humility what work he should perform.
- Thus he teaches: only when a husband approaches his wife with love, humility, and respect, will his stone-like heart blossom like a lotus.
- When the heart blossoms, the Guru’s divine feet will also blossom within it.
This is the hidden spiritual symbolism:
- By honoring the wife (the lawful partner), arrogance dissolves.
- Only in a humbled, love-filled heart can the Guru’s lotus-feet appear.
Practical Mantra Prayoga
The Siddha Guru titled this prayoga “Puruṣar Mātarait Tazhuva” – For the husband to embrace the wife.
- By contemplating Muruga’s way of honoring Vallī, the sādhaka learns how to treat his wife.
- With unwavering love, compassion, and humility, the husband transforms discord into harmony.
- Through practice of the given mūlamantra and yantra, these qualities arise naturally, ensuring mutual affection and blissful life together.
Subtle Message
- A man who cannot show love, compassion, and respect to his wife’s heart will never experience the blossoming of his own heart.
- Without this blossoming, Muruga’s lotus-feet will not appear within.
- But if, like Muruga, he keeps the wife’s heart cool with love and reverence, that very act becomes the doorway to the blossoming of the Guru’s feet within.
This is the esoteric secret of the prayoga: harmony in marriage is not only worldly happiness but also a direct support for spiritual awakening.
✅ This Mantra Prayoga explains how dharmic love between husband and wife, modeled on Muruga and Vallī, becomes the basis for blossoming icchā-śakti and receiving the Guru’s grace.